Monday, August 24, 2009
Dear Andy,
I don't know what's wrong. i can't think straight. I am going to fail my stats. i just blanked out during the exam and i just couldn't think! FREAKING HELL. i feel like crying now:( I don't want to see ntuc lady for another semester. I don't want to study in poly anymore. I want to run. i just want to throw everything away and run. Because there's no one there where i can tell everything to. Or just there to just sit with me in silence. I'll just have to rely on God... All that guilt that i WILL fail stats and MIGHT fail POM. It's in me. And i know i lied about it. That's the only thing i'm good at. Since young.I was always good at lying about my results.
Why? Because if i told my mom i screwed up my paper i'll get grounded. There's no such thing as finding solace from there. Whatsoever. And you know what? I don't need to also get shit from my family that i've got a boyfriend.Yeah. Keep guessing. You know why? Because in my household, they make more rules than the government. Because it's all man for himself. And can you blame me for not telling you guys anything? Think about it this way. I feel like my family's more judgemental than anyone else. And you know what's so contradictory?That's exactly the type of person I NEVER WANT TO BE.
And you know what? That's why everyone in my family has their own secrets, it's worse than government politics. Because if i said i had a boyfriend, i'll get 100 reasons why i should not be in a relationship crash course right in my face by everyone. AND FYI,I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS A FREAKING EXAMPLE. I don't know how they're stalking me. I just want my peace.I've got enough troubles as it is.
I'm going to study for microe. NOW. Because i am so upset that i might actually get like, fail for everything. and have to retake everything.
let go of me. please.i really don't need this now.not now please.
tre arty
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4:16 PM|
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Dear Andy,
Ok. I need to figure out how to make the other blog private. or if it's even possible. My new blog's from onsugar.com.hahhaha.. the address is very lame. SERIOUSLY LAME. oh wells....
tre arty
@
11:49 AM|
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Dear Andy,
I LOVE YOU.
tre arty
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3:35 PM|
Friday, August 14, 2009
Dear Andy,
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you
Renee got me addicted to this song. It's come what may by Ewan Mcgregor. Recently many people's been reminding me about relationship statuses. With the mixed comments of how being single is good or bad, I'm surprised that what my head's telling me is,"Don't care about it for now. You are happy as you are." or maybe it's really God speaking to me. Cause the truth is, i know i'm a person who constantly is being wondering how it feels like to be treated oh so specially. Or maybe i am happy at my current situation. I don't know.Now the important thing is work. study.study.study.
SO I AM LEAVING. BYEBYE INTERNET. UNTIL MY EXAMS ARE OVER, I AM NOT COMING ONLINE.
tre arty
@
5:02 PM|
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Dear Andy,
I lie awake at night See things in black and white I got only you inside my mind You know you have made me blind
What will i do without music? I think life will get a lot less interesting. Cause there wouldn't be a beat to follow. Or a tune that can get stuck to your head. or something you simply would want to hum to. I love music:]
Today i went to ion orchard. i felt like i got lost there. and i'm not done exploring there. but i know one thing. THEY HAVE MUJI~! QUICK EVERYBODY GET UP ON YOUR FEET AND DO THE KALLANG WAVEEE~~ WHOOOO!! Didn't have my favourite pink colour pen there though:( ME WANTS IT. and that lovely notebook in baby blue. but what i REALLY NEED is an alarm clock that rings super loud. Then maybe my phone will stop cocking up whenever the alarm goes off and i won't be late for school. What a worthy investment. Ok clare. You begin saving up! now!!
Video called Jo yesterday afternoon. HEEHEEE. Her classmate with the Curly[grape inspired?!] hairdo. His name is YiChun aka Yishun right?hehehe. Funny. He seriously looked like he walked out of a comedy show and i am NOT jealous ok! You'll never catch me dawning such an...umm..awkward hairstyle? Don't know how to describe it. I miss joanne! Why does it feel like it's been forever since i last met you? and Grace too!!! awwww:[
tre arty
@
2:53 AM|
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Dear Andy,
How are you guys? I miss you guys so much!And it just occured to me that your birthdays are coming. Doubt we'll be meeting though. Miss you guys loads!!:)
tre arty
@
2:29 PM|
Friday, August 7, 2009
Dear Andy,
YESTERAY. I got Punk'd big time. stooopid Shaun. A few of my poly classmates decided to pon the Accounting for Assets lecture cause they wanted to practise their speech for their presentation. Suddenly in a very noisy setting of people talking( I don't know why, i just remember Shan singing some song in a high-pitched voice. I think it was the national anthem?!) away, i received this call from some handphone number. Well, when i picked it up the person at the other end of the line said," Hello? May i speak to Clarissa? I am calling from NYP." I tell you, the reception was so bad i listen until super pek chek( sorry if i flared up at you guys, Shan and Val.).So Pek chek until i said the F word and walked out of the lecture hall. Anyway that person claimed that my MC wasn't hand in yet. Who wouldn't panick luh! 5-day MC ok! If it's gone i'll be screwed! Like, what if i get debarrment righttt...?
Anyways, when i called back, after saying some things( cannot bother to repeat it here) he hung up and there was this ROAR of laughter that erupted from the 1st floor. Then i started to realise that the person sounded like Shaun Lim Chi Tuck. I don't even know how to explain how i felt after that. It was like, slightly relieved, practically had a face that looked like this-> "-.-" wanted to laugh. Don't know luh.
tre arty
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6:26 AM|
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Dear Andy,
He made my day today! It's nice to know that someone remembers you and shows their concern for you:] It made me smile all the way home.hah...
Ok. Let's keep the fire going. Time to go do speech.BAII..
Friday is coming. Dearies we're gonna meet again. Missed you guys so much!♥
tre arty
@
10:30 PM|
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Dear Andy,
As we go on we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
It's never good when i think about this song. It means that i'm overly missing my friends. And hating my current life. It's draining me and making me hate myself for being so useless.
I'm really very tired already. I'm just not good with projects. Have never been.Hopefully it'll not turn into " never will be good at projects".
Today i started to hate you.Later i'm gonna pray. And hope that i stop hating you.
back to work.
tre arty
@
11:29 AM|
Monday, August 3, 2009
Dear Andy,
TEMPTATIONS. ARGHHH!! Annoyed* I feel so upset that jasmine like, totally made ai xin zao can for everyone in the clique except for me! Haha.. she knew that i was fasting luhh.. but yeah, temptations are everywhere. indeed, when you fast, you are more sensitive and somehow, it seems like God would give you more revelations. BUT. ugh. perservere. pray. 2/7 days only luhh!! i must press on man! press on!!
I've noticed this ongoing trend that my times spent in computer software is used for me to update my blog.. or my only times to? who actually still reads my blog man. so dead i feel like closing it down.
tre arty
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4:59 PM|
Dear Andy,
DOESN'T IT LOOK YUMMYYYY!!!
Rainbowwwww..... I saw this picture on charmaine tay's facebook. LOVES IT. It brightened up my day so so much, i decided to make it!!
Will tell you if i succeed! Most probably won't be giving everyone a cake each. HELLO?! Obviously not.we're talking about a cake here. siao liao... but there's this alternative...they call it... the...
CUPCAKES!!!!!!:D PSSSST. IF I LOVE YOU,YOU MIGHT GET ONE.hahahaha...that's if i ever go about making one o.oHAVE I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU?
tre arty
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4:59 PM|
Dear Andy,
I think he hates me. That look that he gave me. Oh well... I don't really care about what he thinks.
I swear i need to buck up. NOW. Cause i feel a sense of urgency for practically everything as long as it wasn't academic. I hate myself:[
Can someone just like, randomly nudge me on msn to ask me to study if i'm online or something...?
My MicroE tutor has swine flu! Won't be giving us lessons for 2 weeks which is super bad because we are sort of going to start to start exams soon?! Funny how he was the only tutor who would be so anxious about swine and always checking our temperature stickers..
I was walking home and i suddenly thought of yorkying. I miss you so much! I felt like writing you a letter when i got home. But sadly i didn't cause well, i'm not very free. Promise you'll ask me out! Don't always say i'm the one not asking you out can! Tsk!
People i also miss include Joanne and Charmaine.. Joanneee why does it feel like it's been forever! I think we've been too busy with our own friends and own work:[ Did you realise that we didn't take a picture during Founder's Day!! Sheesh. So sad luhh...And Char let's have baking session at your place during september holidays!!
Dang, why are the JC people only having 1-week breaks! Why are most of my friends in JC!! I think i'll practically be out almost everyday for that week. And have nothing to do for the 5 weeks after:D Nevermind i've got this talent of self-entertaining:]
Really touched by what Val said today. She said she missed me!!!! Heeee:] It did seem like it's been forever since we last saw each other. Considering the fact that i've been sick for 1 week... I'm BACK. like, back healthy enough to talk to everyone without looking as pale as a white sheet of paper:)
tre arty
@
4:59 PM|
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Dear Andy,
Pfffft. Sorry Jaden. I couldn't help it. Anyways, this is Jaden's supposedly 'serious' look. I don't even know how to describe this face.
Today was City Harvest Church's 20th aniversary celebration! Well, i woke up at 5.18a.m.( YEAH. A.M) Well I left my house at 6a.m. Ended up cabbing down. It was so crowded. It's craziness!! We arrived at 6.40a.m. and we were super far back already. Well the whole thing was great! 1st service started at 9a.m. and 2nd service ended at 3p.m.!
Went Bugis with Cheryl after that to meet Jaden. Stoooopid. We were looking everywhere for a toilet. I super hate the fact that the toilet beside the ATMs are always full. They need to expand that toilet! Yeah so we walked all the way to the other end to pee. Then walked all the way back to withdraw money from the ATM machines. Went to eat Pastamania. Ok blah blah. the rest is boring... Pictures! A few only. the rest will go up on facebook soon?
Henry,Cheryl,Nelson and I
Oh great. too dark. Well this is suppose to be Ting Ting, Cate,Me
Shandi, Jiexi,Weiqi,Me
Carita and I:]
I'm on a secret mission. And i think it's something that God really wants me to do:]
tre arty
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10:11 PM|
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Dear Andy,
Changed my blogskin! Finally! I think i've actually come across this blogskin before! Don't know why i didn't put it. But it's up now! Just now i was randomly scribbling on this piece of paper( is it normal for people to do that? I like to do that sometimes) and then suddenly i wrote i love macdonalds. and then. BOOM! I got flashbacks about what Jaden was telling me about their ice cream having seaweed essence( i mean, wth is that right?!) and their fries containing beef. I literally felt like i was about to puke out my ice lemon tea. Ok my stomach still feels a little... not right now. Thank you to JT? Maybe now i won't eat as much Macs and can get on with losing weight.
Music Forest called up yesterday. They were calling back students from the Hotshot mv dance lesson to ask them if they wanted to learn Sun Ho's China Wine dance. Honestly when i heard Sun Ho i was like,"ooooh..." then i went on youtube to watch the video and it became "uhhhh...." HAHA. Let's get a bunch of girls who learnt boyish hiphop dance to learn something sexy! Uhhh..Nono.. Not like i will do great in either. I dance like a stickman.hahaha..
I need to read more. I feel like i'm getting more and more stupid from not reading.Absorb yourself into a book soon Clare. You need some knowledge.
For now, stop procrastinating and do your research for your project! Get off facebook! Sheeesh.
________EDIT_________
I honestly need to buck up and stop procrastinating and start studying. what's wrong with me honestly!
tre arty
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5:07 PM|
