brainwashed #arty

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dear Andy,

Today i was really random. So who is Nicholas? He's an online friend. I think we talked 2 years ago or something. And for some weird reason, i thought i heard the holy spirit speak to me and asked me to talk to Nicholas. Well, Cate said that it's like a whisper right? And if i heard something like that and my thoughts were like," HUH?!?! Who just spoke to mee?!?!" then i assume that God was speaking to me okk??? Well, i don't really remember much about him but i'm sure i will in due time. Oh dear. I hope he doesn't think i'm a bother. Because i can get annoying at timeeees:P and yeah. It was a random re-introduction of myself:] We will be good online friends won't we! If you ever re-visit my blog! hahaha!!:D Tag ok? So i know that you read this post:] I will tag your blog toooooo.

tre arty
@ 10:41 PM|

Dear Andy,

I feel so in love. In love with God, in love with my family, in love with my friends.. I currently love my world except for upcoming ICAs:] L-O-V-E. Mshappy is very much in love:DDD

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?

I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong to me
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?

Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

[break]

Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Close your eyes and give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?

[break]

Is this burning an eternal flame?

An eternal flame?

(Close your eyes and give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?)

Know this song? Who doesn't know Eternal Flame? haha..Carita and Lulu were looking through my Ipod and noticed that c.sou sent me this song. Paiseh. I didn't know that she sent me this song. And it brings back memories indeed... Sigh* Is it Valentine's day already?Everyone around seems to be melting.hahaha!! Even i also a bit jelly lor.. sweeeet sweeeet loveeee:]HAHAHA!! MUA CHI..[ OR IS IT NUA CHI?!]

PS: STELLA, IF YOU READ THIS, MY RING BROKE. I DON'T KNOW HOW IT MANAGED TO BREAK. THE SCREW CAME OFF. SORRRRRYY!! I WASN'T VIOLENT WITH IT!!! IT'S STILL WEARABLE LA. BUT IT'LL GIVE WAYYY SOON I THINK. DON'T KILL MEEEE>.<

tre arty
@ 1:06 PM|

Dear Andy,

Wo De Wang Zi with purple hair:D For some reason he's looking younger and younger to me. why huhh...what has he been eating? And his eyebags.. He can be a panda bear seriously.. Wang Zi needs a break seriously....

The 2 pictures i managed to take with Jaden that weren't blur or without either one of us in the bus. I conclude that the bus driver is slightly reckless. He almost scraped the side of a taxi while turning and had to go in an incredible slow speed and i fell while walking down the stairs. Like seriously, my legs gave way and i had to hold super tight. i think he did a jam break or something.At least it felt like one-.-

haha!! focus attention to Jaden's shirt collar. It forms a V.=D Which is very very gay. Kidding la:] I seriously don't know why you're so fussy over this picture lor! it's not like your shirt collar was originally V shaped right?? And it's pretty obvious it isn't a V shape:p

Stella!! Miss her many manys!! I want to put up the other picture leh!! but...haha!! ok la. I won't.Although this has me in incredibly reflective glasses and it's kind of blur.

ahhh mummy don't scare me again ok!! I seriously freaked out just now! I was so glad i made it home before 12 am[ i assumed that was reasonably early time to her] and i was going to burst open the door and expect to see singing karaoke since it's saturday but i ended up opening a door to this dark unfamiliar environment. Well, all's cleared now.. Apparently they went to my relative's wake. I would like to explain my relation to him if i remembered.. but i don't. too complicated. it's like he's related to me from both my mother's side and my father's side in some way.sounds so weird, i know. rest in peace is all i've got to say i guess...

Tada!! less words, got pictures! now the tired me shall sleep>.< nighty nights..

tre arty
@ 1:30 AM|

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Dear Andy,

http://www.fabric-fun.blogspot.com

I am sooo going by hook or by crook. haha! no lah. It's on the 6th of June.Since discovering this event MAAD, I've always been most interested at checking out their dolls so naturally when i heard abou the exibition i got UBERRR EGGCITEDD:DD Can't wait. I really don't remember if i have any other commitments on that day other than church though...hmm...

Friday was a jam-packed day man.. 9-12 had HTML. why does everyone hate HTML? I actually like it.haha!! then from 12-4 it was break so i met up with Stella and friend to get my ring. If you want to see it, just ask yeah? I'm gonna be wearing it all the time anyways:] Who cares if it doesn't match my dressing or whatever.. PIGGY<3 PIGLET.HAHAHAHA:] SWEEEET:) Or crap. As i was saying, After that i had to rush back to school for Accounting For Assets Tutorial. On the bright side, i do have common sense. Or at least a sufficient amount of common sense that got me through the lesson with less difficulty:]

Yesterday's BS was good. Since i'm new to chrisitanity, I really found much of the described significance of words in the bible very helpful to me. I guess it's true that when you love someone, you really want to change into a better person. I realised that since March, I've been slowly changing my bad habits such as being late, taking stuff for granted....etc.. And most of the time when i make a decision, I do ask myself," Is this the decision God would have wanted me to make? Am i glorifying him when i make this decision?" [pardon me if i phrased it wrongly, it's really just in my head thinking and i really don't phrase stuff in my head.haha] What's left is the prayer part. I guess i could say i'm still not that good at the prayer part because i feel like i've always prayed to him too casually[seriously like talking to a friend]. And when i do that, i sometimes feel that it's not right because the God is my Lord right? So I should at least pray with a slightly more respectful form of speech?[ how do you put this-.-] . Ok. I'm working on it.

As for pictures, another day! maybe here, maybe FB. We'll see. little busy period now. I'm going to go to the kitchen and look for breakfast-.- There was this new box of cereals the other day. i was hunting up and down for it just now but i just can't find it!! It's just disappeared from the table!! ARGHH...

tre arty
@ 11:09 AM|

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dear Andy,

NOOOOOOO!!!! ANGRYNESS* THEY CHANGED MY YAN YA LUN AND GUIGUI TO WANG DONG CHENG AND WANG XIN LIN!! NOOOO:[ MY MOMO LOVEEEE....STOOPID>.< TO THINK THAT I'VE BEEN ANTICIPATING FOR THE LONGEST TIMEEEE.

tre arty
@ 1:16 AM|

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dear Andy,

Ok. Clarissa is so kiasi. seriously. Today i took 162 because the first case of swine flu came out. And since if i took to Novena i would have to walk past Tan Tock Seng. In the end, it took me an hour on the bus. heee:] clarissa is retarded. Hospitality club meeting today.. I think i need to open up more. I hardly uttered a word through out the whole thing. I must say, there's plenty to learn from the Year 2s.
WALAO. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE AS IF EVERYONE IS AVOIDING ME HUHH.. So annoying la.. I officially hate going on msn okkkk... hatee ittt.... Ok. being totally random. and this post just became a ranting post because i feel super duper pissed nowww>.< like, super pissed. Tomorrow i shall go cityhall early, buy a drink, sit there and just study. cause i'm a loner and nobody wants to go earlier with meeee...
Ughh..I got no more mood to blog.Wanted to post pictures.But forget it.

tre arty
@ 9:21 PM|

Dear Andy,

TODAY SHAN SHAN SAID THAT I GOT CHEENA GLASSES AND THAT I LOOK BETTER WITH HALF FRAME. DANG. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I DO NOT HAVE CHEENA SPECTS OK.. DO I?? UGH. HAHA. NO LA. I'M NOT ANGRY. I JUST LIKE TO TYPE IN CAPS:P
HOSPITALITY CLUB MEETING TOMORROW. WHAT ELSE? OH WELL.. JUST LOTS OF STUFF TOMORROW. GREAT GREAT GREAT. I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING MY WORK NO OFFENSE.

SWEET SWEET LOVE. I FEEL LIKE IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY AGAIN. SERIOUSLY. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME LA. IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE'S IN A DREAMY MODE ALTHOUGH ICAs ARE HERE. GOOD? DON'T KNOW LEH.HAHA:]

EDWIN IS SUPER CUTE LUHH.. IS THAT HIS NAME? I THOUGHT THAT I HEARD IT WAS EDWIN. BUT I FEEL LIKE A PHAEDOPHILE. I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT GUY BOY FROM FIGHTING SPIDERS. HAHA. I WAS WATCHING THE ADVERTISEMENT AND HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEE..

ANYWAYS, I'M IN HOSPITALTY CLUB, I WANT TO JOIN SBM CLUB AND I SOOO WANT TO JOIN OGL TOO. CLARE, YOU'RE NUTS. YEAH. TELL ME ABOUT IT. NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO TIME... I WIN! I CAN'T TYPE WITH MY EYES OPEN BUT I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH MY STATS...THEN AGAIN, SO TYPICAL OF ME RIGHT.. SINCE WHEN DO I EVER DO MY WORK. ACCORDING TO EVERYONE, THE DAY I DO MY WORK.. THAT'S WHEN THEY'LL THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A LITTLE HELP HERE?? LIKE, HELP ME CHANGE THE HABIT? THROW ME AN SMS OR SOMETHING LA. OR IF I'M ONLINE AND MY WORK IS NOT DONE, NUDGE ME, AND INSIST THAT I GET OFF FACEBOOK AND MSN. OK. MY EYES ARE HARDLY OPENING. ALL PROBLEMS ARE POSTPONED TO TOMORROW MORNING. YES. NIGHTS.

tre arty
@ 1:51 AM|

Monday, May 25, 2009

Dear Andy,

RECENTLY I REALISED HOW GRATEFUL I SHOULD BE TO OH SO MANY PEOPLE. BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF STUDYING MY BRAIN NEEDS TO REST( whichever side helps me absorb the knowledge..or whatever). I would like to list down a number of people i need to thank. and why i need to thank them. brace yourselves. it's a super long list.

Jaden: Thank you for inviting me to church. Thus letting me know this huge bunch of fun-loving spiritual believers[am i using this term correctly-.-] that have welcomed me and made me feel at ease in this new environment.
Ok la. you're also my online friend. So, there were the risks taken when meeting up with you[ in church, so alot safer?!]. yeah la. i told you before right? especially the luo zhi xiang thing.. i'm really grateful that i have you as a friend:]

God: Alycia gave me bible study the other day and made me realise that the first time you spoke to me was when i approached the front during altar call. I knew at that time that for some reason, my heart was already at the front, although my body was still at my seat. However, i didn't realise that you were speaking to me at that time, telling me to go up. I'm a little oblivious, but i'm sure there were many times when you spoke to me. I just didn't realise it. Thank you for giving me a cellgroup of people to fellowship with and a great bunch of friends in poly too:]

Nelson: Haha.. sometimes i feel super paiseh la. To a person i've hardly known for less than 2 months, you're constantly bombarded by my questions that are sometimes oh so random. And I always end up calling you when i reach church cause i don't even expect an answer from jaden's phone[ he's always MIA to me.haha!so just directly call you..]
Thank you for being my connect group leader. YOU ARE SUPER NAGGY. But i get annoyed for like 5 secs. Then I'll realise, you're really nagging at me for my own good. Sigh* although i forever tell you i won't be late and end up calling you half an hour before i'm suppose to reach and inform you that i WILL be late.. Sorry la.. sometimes i can tell that you're a little disappointed for me not keeping my promise. I will seriously make a HUGE effort to be early now. I promise. And keep in mind that story about Pastor Kong being late...

Alycia: Seriously had a great bible study session! I'm thankful to have you as my BS teacher:] I'm just super glad you made me realise that God actually spoke to me already!

Everyone else in my cg: Well, when i really feel blessed, being able to share the same cg with you guys. although i'm still not close to most of the people in the cg, it takes time right? I mean i've only been there 2 months. but we'll grow closer i guess...:] i haven't met everyone in the cg right-.- how big is my cg.. so far i named 27 people. and i have in mind.. around 5 that i have not met. plus the 3 that i saw on saturday but don't know their names.. whoohooo...haha.. very big cg indeed..

Poly Clique:Thanks for tolerating my nonsense. seriously. as you all know, i look smart, AM SO SMART TOO LUUHH.. haha. just so lazy i managed to end up being the only person failing second quiz.. but whatever. Greatful that you guys still hang around me after getting crap from me. I will try to know you guys better. We've got 3 years to become BFFs? GFFs? loll. i have never heard Good Friends Forever before.. But i hope i can be there for you guys. I want to be there when you're happy and when you're sad ok! Pour out your problems and i will listen. Because sometimes, that's all i can do.But if i could help in other ways, i will. Because i treasure the friendship i have made.:]

Kenneth Chong And Kenneth Lim: You have no idea how grateful i feel now. Especially after i managed to study finish micro econs. ok la. i still have 2 more points i haven't studied. but thank you so much for sending me songs. I just have to listen to songs when i study. Honestly, thank youuuuu!!!!

Zimmer: Sorry ah Zimmer. But sometimes i also feel super paiseh that i always disturb you when it came to academic related stuff like, what other ICAs do we have or whatever.. i think i over rely on you cause you're class rep. And i stalk you cause i'm a paparazzi and you're so cuteee.. i had to stalk youu.. hurhur. ok la.enough jokes. later JJ jealous. Cause JJ is still number one.[ ok. kidding for that tooo:)] But I really want to thank you sincerely. You're a really nice guy you know! Just super like to tease people-.-

Ultimately, Thank you for everyone who recently helped me in anyway. I feel like as if every action recently from my friends have affected me indirectly one way or another. And they're really helping me become a better person. I really want to do something nice for everyone before i leave for Sydney( haha! why do i blog like as if i'm migrating?!?!). I'll try.. if i have the time.. i'll do it:] If not, i'll do it once i come back.. yep.

Oddly i'm not thanking my Mg friends. Why? Cause they didn't impact me recently@_@ HAHA!! Kidding.. I love them very very much. And i think they probably know that already.If i had to thank them, I might as well write a dictionary. Because the truth is, i cannot compare my mg friends with my poly friends or even my cg. Because those mg people i'm still close to, I've known most of them since 8,9 or even 10 years ago. How is anyone going to beat that? Nooo way.. Friendships cannot be compared that way. that's what i've learned recently. There's also no such thing as forgetting it all. So i am going to create new memories with my cg and poly friends now:] As for my mg friends( ok. I'm not getting my point across. i don't know how to explain. so i kind of give up.So it's understandable if you have no idea what i'm talking about), stooopid people. when are we meeting up!!!>.< heeee:]

Ok. clear up time. I DO NOT like jingjie ok??It's all for fun.I cannot believe that cheryl told me that kenneth asked her if i really like jingjie. I got so thick-skinned or not?! Like him still openly declare for the whole world to know! hahahaha!! Really, just ask me directly mah.. all you had to do was add a "SERIOUSLY, " in front of the question and i will give you a serious answer:]I don't know JJ enough to like him:p if you say eyecandy maybe it's possible.Crush ah?! hahahahaha!! wait lor..wait longer... no offense la. I mean, he's a nice guy[i think]. i just don't know him well enough to like him/ he didn't do anything nice for me to like him?!

PS: If i CURRENTLY like a person, i won't tell anyone at all.. i mean at all as in, NOBODY. not until i fall crazily in love with him and go into infatuation mode and feel like as if my emotions would burst and i'll go mad then i'll tell someone. Ok la. I'll tell my whole poly clique lor. Probably. Even so, It isn't happening unless i lose weight. Because i don't have enough self esteem now. So i feel like as if i'm not good enough for anyone. not even if the guy i liked was balding. i'll still think i'm not good enough for him....

tre arty
@ 11:26 PM|

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dear Andy,

ajuna,suzzana,meee,jalini

Heh. this is uncomfortable. i hate taking pics of myself. anyways, see my hair? can tell the diff? it's suppose to be like that after i style it. butt.. i'm not rich enough to buy the spray.oh wells..:]

seriously, grace's hair..is cool..

val,meee,c.sou

I'm a little freaked out by this photo. do you realise that both our hands are busy?! so who pressed the button to take this photo huhh!! definitely not val! i was like talking to her la...

You might not know it, but i'm very happy. i really am. because..:] I realised something. i don't like feeling happy alone. When my friends feel happy, i tend to feel happier than them. It's like, i feel better sharing the happiness of others in a way. Example, when kas got her O levels results? i cried! haha.. stupid clare. cry for what.. no need to get so happy right? Then whenever i hear that who and who's in a relationship. I'll be so excited and happy for them. I wonder if i get hit twice as hard when my friends are upset too.. I know that a certain someone's upset. and knowing that she is, i'm feeling a little blue too. Is this suppose to be natural?Hmm... I never used to be like that.. This may be slightly confusing..

Yesterday had deliverance. eye opener.really.Shan't say much about it. I really need to start remembering ways i can get home from different parts of Singapore. or i might need to start carrying bus directories...

I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE, ACCIDENTALLY!!! I'M GOING ULTIMATELY SONG-CRAZY. LIKE, I GOT SO MANY SONGS STUCK IN MY HEAD. A SONG POPS IN MY HEAD EVERY 5 SECS. SHEESHH...
ALL THE SMALL THINGS, TRUTH CARE,TRUTH BRINGS....

i love him.i love him not. i love him. i love him not. i love him. i love him not. i love him. i love him not. <---- i wrote that all over my speech draft/outline. i was listening to collide. i am being random. i think i have an imaginary crush. i'm serious. like, he's this shadowed figure thingy in my head. clarissa, you're going crazy from all the studying and listening to too many love songs. i cried yesterday watching the you belong with me mv again. now i think i'm spastic.haha:]

I'm beginning to doubt myself. because every other aspect of my life is changing. my friends, my environment.. i'm wondering. am i changing into a better person? or a worst? I've never had such a major change before. God, help me. Guide me in my road to self-discovery[of some sort.]. i will make it through this period. i know it.

tre arty
@ 1:16 PM|

Friday, May 22, 2009

Dear Andy,

FUTURE SCHEDULES...
JUNE 10TH-POSSIBLE CLASS OUTING
JUNE 24TH-shit.. i'm just busy. cannot remember already..
JUNE 25TH-photography course?!lol..
JUNE 26TH-RESERVED FOR BERNICEEE..
JUNE 27TH- RESERVED FOR STELLA AND GANG
JULY 17TH- LOVE MG
JULY 25TH-FOUNDER'S DAY/GRAD CEREMONY THINGY?HURR..
AUGUST 7TH- KAS' SCHOOL DANCE PERFORMANCE
SEPTEMBER 26TH-29TH - TUNGLOK PART-TIME JOB( IF I GET THE JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE)
i dont think i missed out any.. these are so far ahead of time i'm not sure if i'll remember by then..

I am in hospitality club. as club rep. i'm suppose to pass down information to my classmates about the club cause we're like, duh. hospitality students.. hope it'll be funnn:]
i need another CCA. now i'm turning desperate.cause honestly, i don't see myself doing hockey anymore. not at all...

tre arty
@ 2:23 PM|

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dear Andy,

I AM TALKING TO MELODY NOWWW:]] I think i really super uber miss melody. cause i always blog that i talked to her when well, i talk to her..

CUT MY HAIR TODAYYY!! HAPPINESSSSSS.. i met up with grace too.. gossip sessions with her.. are just always different.. i don't know how to put it.. i like to hear her talk.haha!!! Ok... my hair doesn't have a lot of difference though... grace's hair is shorttttt!!!! super cool. i lovessss it. it's the coolest thing ever. well, you have to look at it. it's very hard to describe the way it's layered. i would say celebrity hairdo. but.. what's wrong? high maintenance. haha!! she needs to go cut in 5 weeks i think. i really think it'll look good if she dyed it purple. the dark purple like c.sou's type. but i can't tell her like c.sou's hair since she doesn't know who's c.sou can i ???

Today's speeches.... from the girls especially... highly emotional.. no offense, but i hardly heard mefline said. but when she talked about it, i really felt the pinch of reality. her problems are not bigger than mine. but it's all about treasuring the present isn't it? and renee's one.. i really felt super sorry for her. i mean, come on!! renee! she's such a sweetie.. i don't understand her stoopid ex-classmates. i-don't-get-it. maybe they're jealous that she's pretty and capable:] it did make me feel guilty though. it made me realise that i did that in secondary school too:[ not that much. not that obviously. not as meanly. but i judged people. judged them without really knowing them inside. that alone, is pretty much bad already. i promise that i'll try not to do that anymore. although i do still complain occasionally about who and who..haha:]

Today i really realised how much friendship means to me... the idea of a friend that sticks through thick and thin with you.. one that can say," as our lives change, come whatever... we will still be, friends forever....I want to thank God for letting me meet such great people. Because we've gone through thick and thin together. I have a group of friends that i hold really close to my heart. so close that i really want to be there for them whenever i can.. and even if i really can't, i want to be there. because i love them so dearly, i'm willing to forgive them if they were wrong in any way.. look at their flaws and imperfections and imagine it's their strengths. and really love them as who they are. sometimes i do get angry! for like, what, 5 minutes? oh well.. i can't say that about my current church friends and poly friends cause well, i still haven't exactly known them for long. but i'm sure i'll feel the same way sooon:]

let me love you baby, let me love you.....hahah!! what's this song ah! i suddenly got it stuck in my head! is it some heineken advertisement one?!

tre arty
@ 9:23 PM|

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dear Andy,

At first i didn't have the NKJV bible so i got it. then today i was given another bible. i have 6 bibles now-.- hur... this is so random. anyways, today was presentation day. screwed it up as usual. and let's see.. i'm so happy i got HTML today and didn't screw up as much. not a productive study day at library just now... cause cheryl, xiaohui and jing jie had speech tomorrow so they were peparing. well, i heard cheryl's speech probably 5 times, xiaohui's 2 times and jing jie don't know shy what shy la. didn't even want to read it out in front of us.. like, such a small group of us some more...

Stella's not going for dance!! And i'm not going for fran's carnival!! How can i not go huhhh!! I mean, L***** is going!!! He's going but i'm not!!! Sian.. It's so difficult for us to meet la. we're all so busy and all..[ i'm referring to kas and co.!not L] But i want to meet L leh! I want to know more about him:) HAHA!!! S! Jealous or not!! Hmmm... i'm not sure if it's the right word for this situation...I am bringing him out for coffee one day. i'll sms him. ARE YOU WORRIED HUHHH.. haha!! This paragraph seems to be written in hopes of making someone angry/upset/jealous. Kidding.. LOVE YOU LOADSSS OKKK... why would i do something like that right?

FRAN! Do you read my blog? Cause i think your friend is weird. haha!!!! Who is kevin chan huhhh..classmate ah? He must have been super free!!bothering to scroll down our list of comments[prob reading all] and then asking us to buy the coupons from him?? OOOH... WEIRDDDD...

I need to do speech outline hard copy to hand in. borinng.. my sister's friends are over. playing guitar heroes. hands very itchy.haha!!perservere clare. no guitar heroes for you. no no.

tre arty
@ 10:24 PM|

Dear Andy,

I GOT WRITER'S BLOCK. AIN'T IT AWESOME.. So far, the plan is that HS0904 is going for seoul garden dinner on the 10th of june cause i'm flying off 11th.. But everyone's so busy and this ain't a confirmed plan. Hope it pulls off. I have no qualms about speaking in front of the class seriously. but writing it is another story. it's a painnnnn.. i do not write! i think i'm better at impromto. heee:]

I've been arriving so late for lectures, i keep getting the seats in front! i cannot see my eyecandy from the front la!! haven't seen him in a few days already. I did see the year 2 eyecandy today though. he got off a bus. i can go stalk him now! i know what bus he takes! i have this HUGE feeling that he stays near me due to a few reasons. and obviously i'm not going to say why. then everyone will know who he is right-.-

Eh. Tomorrow i hope i don't hear anything about me liking jj already luhh.. cause right, after one whole day it gets super annoying, it's not even funny anymore-.- not that i don't like jj la. it's just not like him in that way lor! like that means i like every other guy the same way what. cause i don't currently have anyone i like like. [don't even need to watch this space.]

and i shall explain. because somehow i feel like as if my definition of liking someone is world's apart from everyone else or something. or at least everyone got common idea except for me lor!! why huhh!! why! haha..

PEOPLE I LIKE: I like everybody. really. like, everyone who's my friend, i also like. if not you freaking won't be my friend anymore. there's only 2 sides to me. i either hate that person[ i try not to la. but sometimes i just cannot stand some people!] or i love that person!:]

PEOPLE I LIKE LIKE: If i say i like like this person, means i have a crush on him. but you're never heard me say this. cause i haven't had a crush on anybody yet.

just now i talked to MELODY on msn!! whenever i talk to her i feel so sad la. even if we talk about normal stuff i still get super sad. i cannot believe that we're not in the same school anymore and we're not fighting over the most ridiculous things. To the point where we observe a few seconds of silence before we burst out laughing because we just couldn't take it.... i feel like as if she's so much more emo now. oh crap.will she read this? if you read this melody I LOVEEEE YOU SO SO SO MUCH you know!! must study hard ok?? Remember what we had in our notebooks? i cant remember where you got it from la. but i saw it and insisted that you let me copy it down? i still have it with me in my box full of things. although my furry sticker is kind of black now... if we don't manage to meet up during june holidays[ although i will make sure i get to see you even if i had to go to your house>.<] for korean food. we still have july! founder's day! and there's also Recess Gang Gathering!! Yeap. When Clara comes back from taiwan for a holiday. we shall all hang around and crap together...

I'm not an interesting blogger. sorry lor. my life is just not interesting ok? i use more words than pictures. and i do not have an interesting typing style. that's why nobody reads my blog. who cares la..

Favourite song now!! the one playing on my playlist!! in order of fav song no 1, fav proposal song[ i'm sureeee i won't change the song even when i'm 25!!] and on/off fav song.HAAA..LAME.....

tre arty
@ 2:46 AM|

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dear Andy,

Ok. i'm like having Principles of Management. Mr BOOOOOO.. You are very boring, no offense. I haven't really completed my speech. Will go home to do it later. mumzie's cooking dinner i think. i have nooo ideaaa what Mr Boo's saying.. he keeeps going in circles..

Anyway, i'm gonna erase everything i said yesterday. 1,2,3, poooof* ok. forget it. forget it.. I am so lame lah. haha!! Happiness!! I'm going to cut hair on thursday! like finally! very disturbing though. the fact that hospitality club is having its first meeting on the same day. It's suppose to start at 2pm but my hair appointment is at 4pm so i have to leave school at about 3.30pm?! Hopefully it wouldn't clash. i really want to cut hair:[

Anyways, since friday and monday's going to be a school holiday[ some school graduation thing] , i think i'm going to spend that time studying. I really need to catch up. although i so feel like going to watch night at the museum 2.. hurhur...next day got ICA:[

And i do not type like an NSK!! I SOOOO DON'T ok.. hmm.. maybe i do? i sometimes think i sound bimbotic when i speak proper english. no idea. buttttt.. i'm like not pretty. so i sound dumb?! oh wells:] It's all about making a fool of yourself this week isn't it?

I had the weirdest talk yesterday. then i realised that of all people, i chose to tell 2 guys. And it's kind of weird. i think i should have asked a girl-.- like Stella or something. haha!!! STELLA... heeeee:] Saturday! It'll be so fun if i could actually go...

I've concluded. For the safety of everyone, maybe i shouldn't go into a relationship yet. Ok la.. i wait ok? keep my eyes closed and wait for someone to tap my shoulder... and let nature take its course...it's just that.. you tend to wonder....

tre arty
@ 4:13 PM|

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dear Andy,

HAHA!! NEW BLOGSKIN!! Very pink though.. it's cuteee rightttt.... i really want to say a huge huge THANK YOU TO Kenneth Chong!! I kind of coped all his songs from his laptop via thumbdrive during effective comm lesson..haha:] but really uhh.. power luh. he has a lot of christian songs. thank you very very much. and zimmer for throwing the thumb drive?haha. they won't read this luhh. not like they know my blog link rightt.... do they?hmmm.. nahhhh!!! talking about blog links.. haha!!! jjthedog.blogspot.com. haha!!joke luhhh. last wednesday was really uber fun... basketball , judo then slacked at library cause i really couldn't have hockey match luh. sorry. i ponned it. going tomorrow! confirm going tomorrow! i think the seniors are gonna scold me:[

I've been so busy, i haven't met so many of my friends in ages.. especially LP, Tan MF, Melody, Rach.. Sigh* i miss them so much. It's like the netball gang and the GANG GANG. Hahh... Kas and Co, we need to name our gang. do we have a name?!o.0 My ring is coming back to me next sat. so she says.. haha:] ok. I'm in the midst of packing so i shall go pack now luhh..

tre arty
@ 1:13 PM|

Friday, May 15, 2009

Dear Andy,

I am currently watching youtube videos although i secretly promised myself that i'll study. I have too many loose screws in my head man. and i failed ICA2. I FREAKIN FAILED. only person to fail somemore.yayyy.. i just can't remember those terms luhh.. bring it on tutor! you can give me a html quiz next week if you want! at least it's easier to remember luhh.. after this module, i'm gonna start creating my own blogskin man. one that's MINE AND MINE ONLY.. MUAHAHA!!!

I'm watching jill sing on youtube and totally getting puzzled. how can a person change so much? for the fame? for the fortune? you betray your friends?! i don't see myself doing that. i'm not saying that i've never betrayed a friend. i don't do it on purpose... not to a person i've been best friends with for like, forever. i mean, there are always cases when you make mistakes.but this one, this is one such case where it's soooo on purpose.

I think i secretly want to be in a relationship. sometimes i wonder how it'll feel to have someone to hug when you're upset.. not a friend luhh.. like, someone you can hold and he's YOURS ONLY. wahhh.. haha!! clarissa is day dreaming.. oh well.. for some reason i've concluded that i scare guys off. so yeah. i'm gonna start looking around more when i lose enough weight to look myself in the mirror and go WOAH. you have changed! good job! then i'll look:] see la. when i don't watch enough dramas i'll feel like getting into a relationship. i think dramas give you numbing effect. cause the storyline is always better in real life. more romantic!

eeeks. some people are just sooo..soooo.... impatient!! they really need to get a grip. and use that thingy called a brain. cause you THINK FIRST. THEN ASK QUESTIONS. not question, question, question,question. but still don't think. ughh...[why am i giving a self-reminder!!!! hahah:)]

my mom doesn't want me to be in a relationship. i would like to see how she'll get me a boyfriend when i'm 30, slightly wrinkled, and very very very very....EXTREMELY out of shape. good luck mom. time to stock up money to spend on dating agencies. haha!! just kidding.. but i always imagined something like that happening to me. that shows how sad my life can get huhhh:[i can't get the love i want at home. neither do i seem to get it anywhere else...
OH WELL. there's God! God loves meeeee:] i think i just feel very loner now. and very in need of love.cause..i'm alone?! yeah. now i'm totally crapping luhh. but you should know that i'm totally typing whatever i'm thinking. ok. thing that sparked me to re-consider " self-made dating policy"--> apparently you lose 24 calories from kissing a minute long!! so you lose almost a 100 in 4 mins!! that's 15 mins on the threadmill-.- you see what i'm talking about??hmm.. maybe they're fat when they get together. then they always make out so in the end both also lose weight together!! haha.. ok enough crapping. it's time to go since it's raining:p

tre arty
@ 4:08 PM|

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dear Andy,

I tend to create problems for myself. i don't know why. Is that just the way i roll or something? oh well.. i'm not done with stats. so i'm gonna go do it now. although i'm suppose to sleep. i think i'll at least complete half first. But tomorrow's programme of sports..-today rather. It's like, gonna tire me out. i just hope i'll have energy tomorrow. survive clare..... you can do it!!! considering the fact that i no longer emo about, i think i'm 50% back to normal state. am i suppose to be happy? cause the world hasn't seen what i'm capable of. adapting can be such an obstacle sometimes... oh wellzzz...... i'll live through it, come out ten times stronger and be among the best. Cause once an MG girl, always an MG girl right?? NYP got no inspirational mottos or cheers or whatever whuttt....hurhur....

it's not that i prefer one over the other, it's just that 10 years of memories can never be forgotten after a month in my new school. And i'll never forget it. Cause it was the best 10 years of my still oh so short life. I need to create more memories with my new friends:] i have great friends though... i managed to actually find a group of people i can click with. that alone, is a blessing. and i really thank god for it. haha!! then again, they haven't seen the weird side of me, have they?

tre arty
@ 1:40 AM|

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dear Andy,

I am 10 kg away from my ideal weight. Yeah!! ok la, it's 8kg but i decided to lose 2 more than the real ideal weight? easier said than done. I gained 1kg from yeterday's over amount of junk. i'm gonna so so so exercise later. UGH. ok. stop obsessing over your weight clare. I can't believe i lost 7/8kg and my family is like, got meh?haha.As long as i can tell right?? Hmph. I'm determined to show my brother that i can do it. I can lose weight. Just like he did!! Aim: Lose 10kg by june 11th,2009. 3kg to go!!!! Go clare!!! One more month for you to lose! jiayou!

tre arty
@ 8:29 AM|

Dear Andy,

My perfect marriage proposal: If he cooked me a meal and sang the acoustic version of Collide by Howie Day!! Aww... I think my heart will melt and i'll be like so touched, i'll feel like hugging him although he's singing the song and trying to play the guitar at the same time luhh.. eh?! wait, then he won't be able to propose. haha!! Siao right.. How old now thinking about marriage proposal.. No luhh.. i thought about this when i first heard the acoustic version of howie day on the radio. I think it was a live record from some performance. When i heard the part " I somehow find, you and i.... collide" sung by the audience. I tell, you, it's floodgates open lor.Don't even know why i got so touched. i just started to cry buckets. haha:] Oh well, when i'm ready, my most touching song would have changed?! maybe some other new song will take it's place...
This is random. Shh... i fell asleep again yesterday. SOOO POOOF! micro and pom not done! i diee... i need to pray for perserverence. I'm too jelly already...

Yesterday XiaoHui and I were talking about the feeling of having a crush. Apparently, you're not ablt to stare straight into his eyes. Hmmmm.. Now i'm wondering if i ever had a crush on anyone.. so my answer is.. NOOOO.. Haha! so saddening. it's like missing one part of life la. at 17 and i've never had a crush on someone.

and i'm tangled up in you...yeah~

I love God and God Loves me. Let's leave it like that for now.Wheeeeee:]

tre arty
@ 8:18 AM|

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Dear Andy,

CLARISSA YOU CRAZY CRAZY GIRL... SEE LA!! PICK THIS TYPE OF TOPIC! I'M CONVINCED THAT I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT SHOW LUO BUT THE THING IS, I CAN'T EXACTLY SAY THAT I'VE MET HIM RIGHT?! SHEEESH. WHAT'S WRONG WITH MYSELF HUHH...PRESENTATION NEXT WEEK!!AHHH!!!!!!!
OK. I WANT TO BLOG ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY AND ALL THE HAPPENINGS BUT I REALLY GOT NO TIME. SO I DECIDED TO RANT INSTEAD>.< UGGGHHHH.... HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO MAKE THIS EXCITING? IT'S ONLY WHEN YOU'RE THERE THEN YOU'RE EXCITED WHAT.. IT'S LIKE HOW IT'S BORING TO HEAR ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S OVERSEAS TRIPS CAUSE IT'S BETTER TO EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF. OH DEAR. FORGET IT.FOR NOW, I SHALL DO TOMORROW DUED WORK.

I'M SO SORRY. I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU IN ANY WAY...FORGIVE ME?:[

tre arty
@ 3:00 PM|

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dear Andy,

YESSSSS..MUMZIES BOUGHT MY CAKEEEE. secret recipe!!!!I MIZZ YOUUUZZ..... to bits and pieces.every slice is gonna make me gain weight but i dont care cause i deserved it. mua's birthday is in 6 plus hours. i must remember to sms divya to wish her too:]ok. so i realised that julia has the same birthday as me too. that means divya,julia,cheryl yong, bangzhi( me sissy's friend-his bro is that dude in fighting spiders) and i share the same birthday! how cooooool is that huhh.. 5 people with the same birthday ok.. MAY ROCKS YEAHH. turns out that they're just celebrating my birthday alone today.. meaning dinner again on monday to celebrate my brother's birthday!! he wants to eat crabs i think.. according to my mom.. now i'm wondering why nobody asked me about where i would like to eat. they kinda just made reservations without me huhh.. why like that huhh.. i've been craving fish & co cause my mom hates that place>.<

I realised that hearing any live performance will make me happy:D like, even if the singer goes wayyyy off tune or something, i just get really happy hearing the beat of songs..like, the guitar played live, preferably got drums luhh..... and somebody uploaded my sister's performance videos on facebook!!!!!I LOVEEEE FACEBOOK!Apparently she sang one night in beijing la.. good stuff. her jiaying( what is it in english?direct translation ah? fake pitch? hahahaha!!!) was pretty well controlled... i wanna see her perform soon.. she refused to let me know details cause she'll get nervous if i cheer her on or something. Well, i don't know but i sort of did 'research' according to the background of the video and it turns out to be some CDC band competition... Oh well... hope she made it in since she doesn't want to tell me anything>.< hmph.
note to self: the finals are on 5th june. if she says she's gonna perform on that day, stalk her:Dhmm..

SEE LA!! blog blog blog. don't neglect your work can! stupid! it's a toture trying to read the stupid internet and web technique module notes. cause it doesn't make any sense to me!! well, it'll make sense if the IP address was the same as my home address and a lot more convenient...
Elvin Loo ahhh...how did you study IT luhh...how come your sister's such an idiot when it comes to the internet man...

Oohh... and i finally talked to elvin today. was having tutorial and then i saw him online.. apparently he was back in his uni trying to do some 'work'.. And he has access to guitar heroes cause his friend has it.NOOOO.... he can play guitar heroes there!! i have the whole thing in my living room but i don't have time for it-.- cause once you start, you get hooked. and it's addicting...on the bright side, it's more tiring than computer games so your hands will definitely ache after long hours, forcing you to take frequent breaks.. so it isn't as detrimental to your health as compared to the average counterstrike or left4dead games... LEFT4DEAD. I'm so getting downloaded. Xiaohui is a bad influence.hahaha.. i'm gonna turn violent la. I decided to try out for judo and play left4dead. i hope i don't start getting influenced to put make up before going to school cause that'll scare the hell out of my mom who's gonna start thinking that i'm acting way too weird..

On the bright side, i realised that i'm still tomboyish. i can't stand wearing a skirt to school luhh.. i wore and skirt and put on contacts to school today. cause it's my birthday soon. and i do what i want.hahahaha.whatever..

I think i have this major crush on him.. cause he's so close,yet so far, it's tearing me apart...:]
nobody knows who HE is. cause i haven't told anyone.. he's so cuteeeee.... ahhhhhh!!! hahaha.. SHH..he's really friendly too...[ok luhh..he sounds friendly ok? never even talk to him luhh.. clare is nuts.totally nuts.]

i sometimes think that he's staring right at me. then i realise, it's cause he caught me staring at him...

tre arty
@ 5:47 PM|

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear Andy,

Thank you so much HS0904!! I got such a great class!! Although the surprise was sort of gone.. cause Jalini was walking with me...
Jalini:" Eh, We're going down to surprise mefline right?"
Me: "Uhh, isn't mefline's birthday....not this month? Should be Pei Ling right?"
Jalini:" Don't know.. they say for the May babies..." * stares at each other for 3 secs*... * i grin*
Jalini:"Uhhh..when is your birthday??!"
Me:"Heee:] This Friday"

Shitttttt....

hahahaha!! Worst part. After going to the 4th floor benches, Bernice walks towards Shanice while trying to reach Pei Ling on the phone. She was whispering,"Where's Clarissa?" and i was right beside Shanice!!Joke la.. My class is the ultimate joke la!! For some reason, we have like, selective vision or something.. We just tend to not see people that are in front of us. It happened to me 3 times already....

They bought this super creamy cake. I think they sort of decided that it was way easier to smash such a cake on people. XiaoHui wanted revenge cause she got it real bad on her birthday.. She started running after me with the cake. I kind of shifted so it ended up on my back:[ But, revenge was sweet cause while she smashed it on my back, i smashed it right into her face:) i got it all over my shorts and hair too.. That is seriously nasty cream. It smells like a combination of butter and vomit. REVOLTING!!

After that we had lunch.. After lunch we played basketball!!! It was quite fun playing basketball with the guys la..quite FUNny:] I am full of crap.. and sometimes i don't understand what they're saying. culture gap? haaa:] Whatever it is, i smelled like cake+butter[from the cake luhh..]+sweat. How sweeeeeet:P Anyway, it's definitely a new experience. I realised that people always fail to surprise me one way or another. I'm still happy nevertheless.. I don't feel emo today at all leh!! i've been feeling so down this whole week. Today really brought a genuinely wide smile across my face... I'm gonna love my classmates so much luhhh.. it's only been 3 weeks but i feel so close to them already..

It's different though. The experience i got from MG, it's a whole different level... I'm not sure if NYP will give me such an experience. We'll see:] Once an mg girl, always an mg girl:)[i'm saying this cause i just saw char on tv and i suddenly missed mg.haha. eh?! but then again, she's wearing the acjc uniform now...]

tre arty
@ 8:06 PM|

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dear Andy,

These few days have just been ever so depressing.... today she did it again....whenever i hear her opening that window, i ask myself.. who's suppose to get the blame? because i always get that stupid talk from her boyfriend that just keeps going in circles and never comes to the point. Then you guys blame me for being rude..well, i'm sorry if i had to raise my voice!like, hello! i'm crying and trying to not choke on my tears and talk at the same go. and not like i didn't see this scene since i was 5. If i were to blame, it wouldn't make sense when it happened when i was 5 did it?
what was i getting blamed for then?! wetting my bed? pffffft.
So what if they were the adults? i feel like as if they need to grow up and think. at least make sure they think through what they're saying instead of go about beating round the bushes and still not giving me an answer.
I'm so tired... they need to figure out if they want to let me free or tie me up. i'm like a kite now.. getting tugged at, i'm landing hard on the ground here. How stressed can you get staying at home honestly? not my fault that all the construction's making the house dustier than ever yeah?! I just need to vent out my anger. Cause when you were scolding me just now, i was thinking in my head. Have i ever complained to you? Oh yeah. you don't listen... so i sort of gave up. You don't have to be a parent 24/7... sometimes i just need a friend.. I know i have to respect you.. but sometimes, i need a little respect too... And i feel like an animal. Cause you make it sound like as if i'm bound to end up like you... the truth is, you don't even see how blessed you are.. you're always seeing the bad side..

Yayy... birthday coming... i soooooo have the mood to celebrate-.-

Shit.. I can't even think positive thoughts now...

tre arty
@ 5:42 PM|