Thursday, April 30, 2009


Dear Andy,

TODAY WAS XIAO HUI'S BIRTHDAY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIAO HUI!! Although today is ending in like, soon... PICTURES!!tomorrow.. reasons why my blog is so wordy-pictures always come tomorrow. but tomorrow never comes...

I suddenly feel so drained. like the energy got sucked out of me. and super uber emo. I don't feel like celebrating my birthday anymore... I can't believe i'm planning my own birthday. It makes me wonder," Have we distanced that much? To the point where making an effort to actually come became so difficult? So that's what they call moving on huhh...." It's not gonna be the same again. And no offense to Divya, but although i end earlier, i feel that i have the right to be selfish once in a while and say that i don't think i want to go all the way to jurong just to celebrate our birthdays...Because i feel like as if although it's my birthday, it's about everyone else other than me. Especially when everyone expects me to plan it. Cause i fit my time into their schedule on my birthday?! I'm not gonna enjoy it.At least not as much.I just know it...AND FYI TO THOSE IN JUNIOR COLLEGES,I am not freaking free. Stop assuming that i'm free ok? i used to be free when school didn't start but now i come home late for dinner and at 10 plus sometimes... And i have homework.
Not that i mean to be so emo or grumpy or whatever, but this is my blog, and i feel like shit now..

And Nelson just called me to ask if i can go on sat. I'm gonna ask mom after posting this..*crosses fingers* You really can't blame me for having no exposure to anything... It's like blindfolding a person and asking them what they see... I haven't felt so terrible in such a long time, i find it unbearable. Maybe i changed. Cause the truth is, I never used to look for friends when i have something that upsets me. I've always kept it to myself...

Did i forget to mention that we went to the Gym and for a Swim? Pictures tomorrow.Really. Promise. But on facebook cause there's just way too many....

This insecurity, I hope it goes away soon..

As we go on,we remember
All the times we, had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be, friends forever~
*forces a smile*

tre arty
@ 10:19 PM|